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Are You Called to Heal?

Have you had the sense that if you could just find access to the right path for your own healing that you’re on the edge of something very powerful, something much bigger than your own personal healing?

I’ve felt that pull for more than a decade.

Have you experienced what seems like more than your “fair share” of pain, grief, trauma, and difficult life experiences?

I’ve had a very large share as well.

Are you an empathic soul who sees and feels everything deeply and you feel like other people don’t understand your sensitivity…and you wonder why some people can be so unfeeling?

I’ve always had strong emotion, strong intuition, and I’ve often been anguished by other’s pain.

Have you sometimes (or oftentimes) felt you were an outsider, a weirdo, a “black sheep,” odd, or even crazy? Do you feel like you don’t fit in? Is it hard for you to understand why other people do the things they do?

I’ve spent decades trying to fit in and to understand.

Have you made mistakes and poor choices that have convinced you you’re just a screwup or a loser? Has your guilt and shame about these things overwhelmed you sometimes?

I’ve fought hard for my self-worth.

But, what if all of those things serve a much larger purpose in your life than simply your experience of this lifetime?

What if it’s because you have the healing call?

Have you ever noticed that people seem to fall into two groups:

Those who seem to breeze through life – the ones with so-called good luck, the ones to whom things and relationships seem to come easily, for whom money is not usually an issue, promotions happen, disaster never strikes.

On the outside, it seems like they have it all.

And then there’s the other group: the ones whose lives seem like a living soap opera. Things happen, illnesses strike, problems come up, money is a struggle, there’s anxiety, there’s pain, there’s depression, there’s grief, there’s trauma.

There’s a constant battle to get through life.

What if those people are the ones who have the healing call?

I believe the healing call encompasses a lot more than those whom we typically perceive: the doctors, the nurses, the psychologists, the therapists.

I believe the healing call is part of a massive shift that’s happening to humanity. Those with the healing call came here to experience the dark side of humanity to better understand the light…

and ultimately to become the light bearers, the ones that BRING  the healing shift to humanity. They are those who KNOW what it’s like to walk through the deepest and darkest forests and to transcend the darkness and come out the other side, even if they’re not yet there.

They are the ones who crave sharing their experience to help others heal. They are the ones who understand and come to the world from a place of love and compassion. They are the ones who seek to bring positivity and happiness and joy to others. They are the ones who consider themselves the servers of the world.

They are the ones who slowly, step by step, person by person are connecting and shedding light in their area of influence…

and the light is forming a shift in energy…

and the energy is connecting to others who are doing the same thing…

and that energy is expanding and drawing those with the healing call together.

I believe if you’ve found your way here, you have the healing call…

even if you might not feel like it right now.

You might think I’m crazy for saying this because right now you’re still struggling to find your own way through, to find the way out of your own anxiety, your own chronic pain, your own grief, your own trauma, your own depression…

But if you’re looking for the way, if you’re seeking, if you desire that way out, you have the healing call.

There are three kinds of people who are somewhere on a healing path in this lifetime: 

Those who are actively seeking healing; those who have already come a long way on their healing journey and desire to help others heal; and those who are so weighed down by their pain they are not yet seeking healing because they feel hopeless.

If you weren’t a seeker, you wouldn’t have come this far and be reading now. Something in you resonates with the knowledge that you’re here for a greater purpose and that it’s time for your healing journey to take a rapid leap forward.

You’ve gotten a glimmer of an idea that your experiences might be your training ground.

But you’re not sure how to get over your own healing hurdles and then translate those experiences into credible teaching.

Perhaps you’re wondering if your glimmer of an idea about being called to be a healer is real.

Let me ask you a question: Have you experienced significant loss or change in the last few years? Have you been at a crossroads in life? Has your old life fallen apart – perhaps you’ve even “lost everything?” Have you experienced a significant illness? Has your way of thinking changed momentously? Have you noticed coincidences and other unusual happenings? Have you had moments of feeling like you’re on the edge of something huge…

and then thought you were nuts for feeling that way?

Those with the healing call experience all of these things and more. These are the things that are readying them to answer.

What if accelerating your OWN healing is as simple as accepting the call?

What if all the information you need is written in the code of our soul and when you accept your calling, everything you need in order to heal is revealed to you?

What if it’s not about eating the right food or doing yoga or getting enough sleep – not that those kind of self-care activities aren’t important – they’re just not the front line of healing. They’re the support system, the ongoing maintenance, the inspired action, the exquisite self-care that comes with embracing your healing.

The SOURCE of healing is at the energy level, at the soul level.

Healing requires a paradigm shift. It requires undoing a lifetime of programming. It requires breaking generational bonds. It requires releasing your emotional wounds. It requires aligning with your authentic self. It requires intentional commitment. It requires awakening the power of your soul.

What if you can become so powerful you can effect your own healing AND share your healing wisdom so others can heal, too?

What kind of healing might you be here to teach? Reiki, pain management, yoga, nutrition, crystal healing, meditation, anxiety awareness, animal therapy, metaphysical techniques….

the list is endless, and those of us with the healing call have within ourselves the necessary talents and skills, life experience, creativity and intuition to carry out our unique healing call.

 

I have such compassion for the people who feel hopeless right now. I’ve been there. I remember vividly the utter despair of believing my life was over because I could not control my pain and anxiety, and because I could not let go of my trauma and grief, and because I had made mistakes I hated myself for.

Part of my mission is to bring hope to those who are in that place now. But I can’t do it alone.

I’ve cultivated a network of powerful healers already – women who have so much healing wisdom to share.

But there aren’t enough of us to reach all of the despairing people who desperately need a message of hope.

Are you one of the people I’m looking for?

Do you have the healing call?

If you found yourself resonating with these words – nodding your head, thinking, “yes, that’s it exactly,” feeling like you’ve finally found someone who gets it – who gets YOU…

you have the healing call.

Believe me.

The question is: Are you ready to take back your power to heal? Are you ready to answer the healing call?

I’m on a mission of hope – a mission to bring hope, help and healing to wounded souls. It’s my goal to reach 50,000 people this year and continue to draw together a network of powerful healers.

Humanity needs us.

Are you in?

Check in with your body: As you’ve been hearing this information, what’s been happening with it? Did you notice an energy surge somewhere? Especially in your chest or abdomen, perhaps your throat? Do you feel a tingle or goosebumps? Did you notice a sense of relaxation – and ahhh moment? Did your pulse rate or breathing rate increase a bit? Did you feel something like a pulling sensation in your solar plexus?

That’s resonance…

That’s evidence of the healing call.

Things are happening fast now and the healers and the seekers are aligning.

If you felt the calling – in your body, in your heart, in your mind, in your emotions, in your soul – will you answer the call?

I’ve talked to hundreds of women over the last year and I’ve learned a lot:

Without fail, these women CRAVE connection with other women who have been traumatized by life.

To a one, these women DESIRE to understand the meaning in their suffering.

One hundred percent of these women SEEK the encouragement and inspiration of other women.

Every one of these women BELIEVE there might be a higher purpose to their pain.

…and at one time or another, each of them has questioned their sanity, questioned their intuition, questioned their reason for being here.

They have the healing call – they’re being drawn to healing for themselves and for others.

Do you hear it?

They intuitively know there’s a healing portal – and they’re seeking the right calibration to access it.

Do you feel it?

It’s your soul calling – reminding you that you hold the power to heal within you. You’ve always had it, just as Dorothy did. (if you missed Do You Have Dorothy Syndrome? last week, you can read it here).

You have but to take back your power to heal to begin the journey – and you do that by looking internally and allowing your own intuitive knowing to guide you.

Let me know in the comments below how you hear the healing call…and how you answer it.

Love & Blessings,

Katt

P.S. One  of the ways I teach energy healing and manifesting skills is through my free Radiant Resilience Community – click below to join us and get The Secret to Emotional Resilience 4-part audio mini-course free

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Do You Have Dorothy Syndrome?

As a young girl, my Mama was a movie buff. She was fascinated by the big screen and the larger-than-life actors and actresses of the 1930s and 1940s.

She attended the first screening of The Wizard of Oz at her local theater in Somerville, MA in 1939 and she told me the story many times.

Did you know that The Wizard of Oz was the first movie to introduce color? Mama vividly described what it was like to witness Dorothy stepping out of the house into Oz and having the formerly black and white world burst with color.

The memory gave her great joy to recall even into her eighties. Her eyes lit up every time she told the story, and color rose in her cheeks making her bloom with youth again for a moment.

It’s also one of the good memories from my childhood, the once-a-year showing of Oz on television and being allowed to stay up way past my bedtime, snuggled up with Mama watching the movie…and when I was old enough to understand it, seeing the joy on Mama’s face as the scene transitioned from black and white to color and she relived that happy moment of her own childhood once again.

Mama was nine when she first saw Oz, and not too long after that, she had a devastating experience that effectively ended the joy and innocence of her childhood. It altered her life forever.

Mama died when she was 82.

She had 3 daughters, 6 grandchildren, and 5 great-grandchildren. She owned her home. She had a modest amount of money saved. She was retired from a career in banking that she was very good at. Her health was excellent throughout most of her life until the final months. She carried her age well and most people thought she was a decade, or more, younger than she was. She was a trim and pretty lady. She was bright and capable – a number cruncher, a puzzle solver, an avid learner. She played piano quite well.

Hearing this, most people would say things like “she had a good life” or “she did well for herself” or “she had a long life.”

Here’s the thing, though: She never fully lived.

She was a hostage to her anxiety for more than seven decades.

And that stopped her from experiencing so many things, and from expanding into her full potential.

Mama was a depression-era child, and despite that, the first few years of her life were happy and safe and her natural sunny and inquisitive disposition shines through in early photographs. She and her mother lived alone – her father having disappeared while her mother was pregnant with her – and Mama often spoke of rocking with her mother, singing with her mother, and the safety she felt in those early years.

She attended a local parochial school where the nuns encouraged her piano skills to the point of helping her participate in local talent shows, getting her a piano of her own, and ultimately, a scholarship to the Boston Conservatory of Music.

Then, her father showed up and that altered the course of her life forever.

He was a violent alcoholic who frequently destroyed things in a rage – including her beloved piano.

And, even more heinous, one night when she was 11 years old, he assaulted her in an alley near their home and left her there broken, bruised, and bleeding.

She was hospitalized for 2 weeks while her body healed, but her mind and emotions never recovered from the trauma.

It was the beginning of a lifelong pattern of anxiety, of never feeling safe, of fearing men…and ultimately, the world.

It set the stage for compulsive behaviors and rigid habits, and the desperate need to try to control every aspect of her life.

It buried that naturally sunny and inquisitive little girl almost entirely.

Her bright mind couldn’t be buried, of course, but it was often consumed with worry and fear instead of her strengths in both intellectual pursuits and musical creativity.

She never did go to the Boston Conservatory; instead, she fled home at the age of 15 to marry a Navy seaman and escape her violent father – and still later to enter into a relationship with an abusive man.

She went on to raise three anxious daughters, and two of us raised our own anxious daughters, and one of my daughters is struggling with her daughter’s anxiety now.

Is it nature? Nurture?

I think it’s both simply because each of us in that generational line has been affected in different ways and in varying degrees, and we all play out our anxiety uniquely.

Some of us are more resilient than others, some more capable of pulling a façade around ourselves as Mama did and hiding it better, some have classically ended up in traumatic situations of their own, others have isolated themselves, and still others have managed to “keep up appearances” in a way that has limited their direct trauma a bit.

It’s also generational energy.

Women, as a gender group, carry the energetic memory of abuse toward all women, and we’re particularly affected by the energy of abuse in our own genetic line.

All of this is reinforced through social programming, media, advertising, family belief systems, and personal experiences – the sexualizing of women, the ongoing battles with gender role definitions, the images of the “perfect” ideal, everything from ongoing misogyny and male oppression to the more current mean-girl bullying among women.

And it’s raised to an exponential power at this time in the history of humanity because we live in an always-on, 24/7/365 culture, that’s plugged into a steady blast of information, with way too much private business publicly available.

Through media and technology, we are constantly exposed to unhealthy stereotypes, endless portrayals of “perfection”, and often, violence, bigotry, bias, fear-mongering, and sexism.

Women are more and more anxious all the time, and experiencing more disease and chronic pain than ever before. In many of the most common pain syndromes, women comprise three-fourths of the number who suffer…and the same goes for depression and anxiety.

All three are a vicious cycle, one leading to another and back again.

And it all begins with the anxiety we carry, formed from our generational energy, our personal experiences, and the programming and beliefs that are layered into our thinking.

Our pain is stored trauma, blocked energy, limiting beliefs, unprocessed emotions and ongoing mental chatter.

I’m not saying pain is imaginary: I’m saying our pain is the physical manifestation of a lifetime (and generations) of anxiety and trauma…another vicious cycle.

We experience something painful, and we stuff down the emotions. We don’t grieve when we need to. We tell ourselves the same negative things over and over. We follow the same worry tracks in our minds again and again. We hold onto limiting beliefs we’ve carried with us for years, sometimes lifelong.

We further complicate things by pushing ourselves too far and too hard, too often. We throw ourselves under the bus repeatedly and we skip our self-care habits. We compromise on sleep, nutrition, exercise, stress reduction, hydration, disconnection time, and tuning into ourselves.

Some of our pain stems from a physical happening – an accident, surgical complications, falling, etc.

And yet, many people experience these kinds of incidents and go on to recover fully (or almost fully) within a short period of time.

Are they just lucky?

No.

They have healthy mental and emotional habits. They practice good physical self-care. They don’t have limiting beliefs. They focus on their wellness.

I believe this is even true when the cause of someone’s pain is a physical condition that stems from neurological disease, genetic issues or trauma: while they still experience physical symptoms, they have a fulfilled life of purpose when they practice these same things.

It’s focusing on your wellness not your illness.

It’s prioritizing your well-being – your own healing – before you do anything else.

It’s looking for the internal answers and connecting to your own source of power.

It’s also having a tribe, a support system – having people in your life who understand you and contribute to your wellness.

Anxious people often isolate themselves. Some do it physically, living reclusive lives where they feel safest (though in reality, they’re still anxious). Others get out into the world, but have lots of “I can’t because” ways of excusing themselves from participation in things, and they are isolated within their minds, constantly chasing thoughts around and around, either never talking to anyone at all about them, or having a person they complain to, but nobody they can problem-solve with or get support and encouragement from.

These are the keys to healing.

And women are reaching a point of desperation and danger.

Anxiety, depression, disease and chronic pain are escalating every day among us and it’s getting out of control.

An avalanche is bearing down on our daughters and granddaughters.

We need to turn the tide…for our own healing and for future generations of women. We need to take back our power to heal.

So back to The Wizard of Oz…

Dorothy was a young woman from a loving home – although, it could be argued that there was a precipitating traumatic event in her life since she was being raised by her aunt and uncle – so that’s a lesson in itself: appearances can be deceiving, but that’s a topic for another day.

At any rate, when we first encounter Dorothy it’s clear she’s in a safe situation and she’s beloved by several people. So far, so good.

Then along comes the tornado…and Almira Gulch…and the salesman with the magic elixir – all outside forces for Dorothy to reckon with.

She’s betrayed by her aunt and uncle (or so it seems) and Mrs. Gulch takes her beloved dog. In anger and upset, she takes off from her place of safety. The tornado is already stirring. She encounters Professor Marvel and asks him for the answer to her problems. He gives her some mumbo-jumbo and sends her back to safety…

but it’s already too late for that and she ends up alone in the house, gets bonked on the head with a window and lifted into the eye of the tornado.

When she comes to, she’s very far from home and the first thing she discovers is that she’s killed the Wicked Witch of the East with her house and that the Wicked Witch of the West is none too happy about it…

and that she’s in a place  bursting with color and lush growth and interesting people.

As she’s getting her bearings, along comes Glinda, the Good Witch, who gives her the ruby slippers, some instructions, and sends her off down the Yellow Brick Road to find her way home.

Along the way, she encounters others who are having troubles of their own, and they form a team, all looking for the elusive Emerald City where they believe they will find all the answers they need and be given the item of power they all feel they lack – a brain, a heart, courage, and the way home.

After much trial and tribulation along the way – and darker powers trying to prevent their success – they arrive in Oz only to discover they can’t access the wizard, the source of power they’re seeking. More to-do and problem-solving, with a little sneakiness thrown in, and they gain access to the Wizard of Oz…

only to find he’s a showman, an illusionist, hiding behind a curtain using trickery and deceit as a false show of power…

but he’s a good-hearted man underneath it all (and he’s really just using superficial means of shoring up his own anxieties and self-esteem), so he offers Dorothy a ride back to Kansas in his hot air balloon.

Now, Dorothy is faced with a dilemma: leave her support system to go back to the safety of home (not even considering her house is actually in Oz with her – it’s the people she misses) or stay with her new support system of seekers and never go home again.

What to do, what to do…

Ultimately, as the Professor’s hot air balloon lifts off prematurely (as he begins to dump some of his own “weight” that’s holding him down), she’s forced to look within herself.

Glinda arrives and reminds her of the instructions, given way back at the beginning of the Yellow Brick Road, that all she needs to do if she wants to go home is click her heels three times and say “there’s no place like home.”

In finally doing so, she returns to herself, reclaiming her own power, and awakens in her own bed, in her home in Kansas, with everyone who loves her surrounding her.

So what does all this mean to you today?

You own the power to heal.

It’s inside of you, always with you, you just have to invoke it.

Reacting to emotions instead of responding to situations gets you into trouble, and looking outside yourself for magic elixirs or trying to access to someone else’s power is where all the complications come from.

Having a safe place to be is crucial, and having the support of others on the journey with you is super-important, but the power lies within you to effect your own healing.

Learning to seek that source first, to trust your own internal guidance system, to listen to your intuitive knowing is the first step in conquering your anxiety…

and when you can do that authentically, be willing to be vulnerable with your support system by sharing your experience and accepting their caring instead of looking to them for the answers. In doing so, you’ll be giving them a gift in return: when we share our pain and anxiety and what we learn along the way, we support collective healing because as we lift ourselves, we lift those around us.

Everyone with anxiety thinks those around them know something they don’t and have it more together: the truth is we all think nobody really understands and that we’re the only one going through whatever we’re facing, and in sharing, others gain insight and support for their own journey, so they can then look internally and begin to trust their own intuitive knowing.

It’s another kind of cycle, this one a healthy one.

Healing is tapping into your power and getting clear on what your instincts (and your body) tell you.

So I ask again: Do you have Dorothy Syndrome?

Are you going around and around in circles, pin-balling from one possible solution to another, battling through external problems ineffectively over and over, looking to others for answers, and seeking an external source of power to provide the magic answer?

If you are, I’d like to invite you to join me in an experiment: Put on your ruby slippers, tap your heels and turn your attention inward. Make the commitment to listening to your intuition and your body ONLY for the next 7 days AND do whatever it says, right away, without second-guessing, without “thinking it through,” without asking someone else what they think.

Don’t worry if you’re afraid – do it anyway. The Cowardly Lion did. So can you.

Let me know in the comments below what you discover about your internal guidance system, for it’s in sharing our collective wisdom that we all will heal. 

Love & Blessings,

Katt

P.S. One  of the ways I teach energy healing and manifesting skills is through my free Radiant Resilience Community – click below to join us and get The Secret to Emotional Resilience 4-part audio mini-course free

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Do You Own Your Power to Heal?

Recently, I read a blog post written by my friend, Peggy Nolan, about our use of the word “enough,” as in asking ourselves if we are “good enough” or “talented enough” or “capable enough” or pretty enough” or valuable enough” or sexy enough.”

You know, all the things we ask ourselves that create feelings of being less-than.

In the post, she asks the question, “What measurement are you weighing yourself by?” and points out enough is a word that engages our self-doubt.

It reminded me of what I heard Miranda Lambert say at a concert I attended with my daughters in August 2014 in Bangor, Maine. She was talking to the women in the audience and telling them to go for their dreams, saying if a “little girl from Texas” like her could do it, anyone could do it, and she said if you think you’re not good enough or talented enough or “God forbid, not skinny enough” to go for your dream anyway because you are selling yourself short.

I’ve shared “you are good enough” memes on Facebook, etc. simply because I’m an advocate of loving, trusting, and believing in yourself and working hard to defeat your personal brand of not-good-enough thinking…and because I’m a recovering perfectionist so from that vantage point allowing myself and what I do to be simply “good enough” instead of perfect has been a weight lifted…

and when I read Peggy’s post it hit me like a ton of bricks because the word enough is so limiting, vague, and uncertain, always leaving room for anxiety. It’s as insidious as perfectionism, which is really only the extreme outpost of striving for good enough–and never reaching it. Trying to be good enough is just as anxiety-provoking as trying to be perfect.

Words have the power to harm or to heal, so all this got me thinking about using the words power and empower–as in Take Back Your Power to Heal. They’re words I use a lot, and they’re words I encourage all women to embrace.

But what does power mean–and does it harm or heal?

According to the dictionary power is: 1) possession of control, authority, or influence over others; 2) ability to act or produce an effect. The synonyms for definition #2 include ability, capability, potential, and competence.

Likewise, the definition of empower is: 1) give (someone) the authority or power to do something: 2) make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights. The synonyms for the second definition include unshackle, liberate, and set free.

We live in a society that is focused on achieving power–power of the first kind, possession of control, authority and influence over others–and that kind of power gets used abusively. It’s power that harms.

But what about the second kind? The kind that liberates, sets free, focuses on potential, capability, and competence? The kind that makes someone stronger and more confident and gives them the ability to act and produce the effect they need to control their own life and claim their rights?

That’s the healing kind. The difference is in the focus: extrinsic or intrinsic.

My father (not to be confused with my Daddy–long story) wielded the harmful kind of power. He used fear, intimidation, bullying, sarcasm, belittling, name-calling, and physical violence to exert control over his family, and then put on his power suit and drove off in his power car to do his work as an arbitrator, where he held the power between two parties at the negotiation table.

My Daddy, on the other hand, held quiet authority over his own life, going about his labors at work and at home without artifice. He wasn’t challenged by either my mother’s anxiety or my stepmother’s strong-mindedness.

My father kept my mother “in her place”–and in his view, my stepmother was a Bitch (yes, capital B), and someone he would never tolerate. My Daddy kept his own counsel while Mama went about her business.

As for Mama, she was anxious all the way around. Her own father was even more violent than mine and she carried the scars all the way to the grave. Daddy’s placid disposition (read: disconnection) made her anxious and my father’s aggressive disposition increased the anxiety tenfold.

I grew up on pins and needles…and, of course, with loads of my own anxiety.

Anxiety, which is fear-driven, keeps us in a perpetual state of wondering if we are good enough. And when we’ve been on the receiving end of the abusive use of power (who hasn’t to some degree in our society?) we fear empowering ourselves.

Part of anxiety behavior is always seeking to please others and meet the standards of others (that measuring stick that Peggy mentioned), and that is the exact opposite of empowerment. Owning your power means your measure is internal, based on your capability, potential, confidence, and strength, living your own life freely in your unique way.

It’s a radical shift of perspective to go from always looking outward to validate your way of living to learning to look inward for guidance.

Learning to look internally for guidance–and trusting that guidance–is taking back your power to heal. The intentional use of power to control another is abusive and causes harm; the intentional use of power to guide yourself, strengthen yourself, build on your potential, increase your confidence, and acknowledge your capability and competence is healing.

It’s loving and caring for yourself well.

Miranda’s message was one of empowerment, and yet it used that word: Enough. I’ve realized while thinking about these things that all of our anxieties are contained with that word. And I’ve also realized that those of us on the anxiety side of the coin are afraid of power because power has harmed us along the way.

So here is the conundrum: In order to move past our anxiety and stop the constant struggle to be good enough we have to stand and face our anxiety by firmly taking hold of our own power.

And then we need to learn to use that power to treat ourselves well…and in treating ourselves well we begin to heal because we finally get our eyes of everything else and start to see ourselves as we really are.

And we discover we are wonderful and amazing and beautiful and intelligent and creative and loving and kind and generous and caring and unique and purpose-filled and special and honorable and worthy.

Power isn’t a club to be wielded to control others (or to beat yourself up); it’s creative energy to help you develop your own personal fullest potential. Owning your power to heal goes a long way toward conquering your anxiety as you begin to see your unique path.

As Peggy said, “I’ve had enough of enough” and I’ve had enough of the anxiety it contains. I’ve stepped out of fear and into power: power of the healing kind.

Are you ready to own your power to heal? Have you stepped past fear, anxiety, and enough-thinking already? Who do you know that owns their healing power?

I’m growing the Indomitable Women community for exactly this reason: empowering all women to take back their power to heal, helping all of us move past our fear, anxiety, pain, grief and trauma to collective wellness by reclaiming the support of female tribe and shared feminine wisdom.

What step can you take today to own your power to heal? What are your thoughts about power? How have you been on the receiving end of the abuse of power–and how does it contribute to your anxiety?

Part of our collective healing is sharing our stories to support and strengthen each other and I’m committed to sharing mine to give voice to the conversation. I’d love to hear from you in the comments below to keep the conversation going!

Love & Blessings,

Katt

P.S. One  of the ways I teach energy healing and manifesting skills is through my free Radiant Resilience Community – click below to join us and get The Secret to Emotional Resilience 4-part audio mini-course free

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Can You Turn Pain and Grief Into Healing?

Out of pain emerges passion…and passion heals.

I was participating in the My500Words Challenge a while back, and when I saw the writing prompt for day 5 I knew I had a story to tell.

It said: “Tell us about a day you will never forget.”

April 11, 2013.

The day my sister and I had the privilege of supporting our Sweet Mama as she let go of this life.

Mama’s health had been declining slowly for a couple of years, and the decline rapidly picked up its pace at the end of February that year.

We made the decision to bring her home on hospice at the end of March, so early that morning when I learned from the overnight nurse Mama had been agitated, spiked a fever, and had vital signs out of control, my sister and I were quickly at her side.

It happened rather abruptly; although she was on hospice, it was everyone’s expectation that she would linger a long time. We were both with her by 7:30, and she was gone at 9:37.

When we had been making our plans to bring her home, I advocated for a couple of things: The first was, as morbid as it sounds, we get her funeral arrangements made ahead of time. I believe it’s the wise thing to do when you can because it means you can focus on your grief, not details.

The second was that we keep Mama with us for a little while after her passing and prepare her for burial ourselves. We were blessed with a wonderful hospice team and funeral director. They honored our process in every way.

After the first shock of how fast it all happened settled a bit, we bathed her, anointed her body with Frankincense and other oils and dressed her again in her pretty bold purple satin pj’s. And, I was compelled to put her socks on because Mama ALWAYS wore her socks.

About halfway through this process, I felt my mother’s spirit moving out of her body, and clearly sensed her above me, looking down over my shoulder and watching us lovingly care for the body that birthed us.

Because our funeral home contact, Steve, is simply amazing, he allowed me to help load Mama onto the gurney for transport and let me be the one to zip the bag when I was ready.

I’ll tell you: zipping that bag over my Mama’s beloved face was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

Even though the writing prompt said a DAY I’ll never forget, it’s really about a series of days, so allow me some creative license here, please.

Our Mama was raised Catholic, and her parochial school education was a source of pride for her. Even though she wasn’t a practicing Catholic in her later adult life, we felt it was right to end her life with Catholic rites.

To that end, we decided against having a public “viewing” at the funeral home, but the wonderful Steve set up a private time for just my sister and I to spend some last quiet time with Mama after they had her readied.

Then, we had her funeral on April 16th.

My sister and I weren’t raised Catholic so navigating the liturgy was a little complicated.

We were supposed to jointly speak during the service. I ended up standing mute while my sister carried me through. It wasn’t my grief that stopped me; it was the tight parameters we were given about what we could and couldn’t say, and it all went against my truth, my experience, my reality of my mother.

The real part of the funeral experience for me was when our family followed the casket out and it was loaded into the hearse. It was a breaking point for me and my son was the one who carried me through that part.

Mama went back to the funeral home. We live in Maine so an April burial was out of the question. But I was dead set against her being embalmed, so Steve offered us options, one of which was taking her back out of her casket and storing her body until we could have a burial service.

I know a lot of people find that an awful thought. And I struggled a bit with the spiritual aspects of having funeral rites and then disturbing the casket. But for me, it was far more comforting to know her lifeblood wouldn’t be replaced by toxic chemicals, and that she would be under Steve’s watchful care during the waiting time.

That meant, of course, we had to open up the grief wounds again a month later when they were just forming their first tenuous webs.

We buried Mama on Mother’s Day weekend, on May 11th.

I DREADED the day, far and above how I had felt about the funeral.

Why? For as long as I can remember, whenever the fear of my mother dying popped into my head it was always accompanied by the image of a casket sitting over an open grave.

Now my nightmare was coming true.

I wasn’t even out of the car before my knees we buckling. It didn’t occur to me to not make a spectacle of myself: I was on my knees laying over Mama’s coffin in a heartbeat.

And my sisters and children surrounded me and just held on.

We got through the service, and again, Steve knew just what to do. He allowed me to stay until the bitter end, first letting me operate the lever that lowered the casket into the ground, then waiting while I hand shoveled the first bits of dirt in. And, he let me sit there while the cemetery workers finished the job.

I know all of this has been a graphic account of my mother’s death. And I’ll be honest and tell you I’m crying my eyes out writing it…and I know my sister is crying as she reads it…but this is the point.

In our culture, we’ve lost the wonderful traditions that allow us to grieve and heal. The lovely Jewish method of sitting Shiva is such a therapeutic process. So many other cultures handle death and grieving with much more grace.

We’ve been indoctrinated to believe we are supposed to suppress and repress our feelings, and this is so incredibly toxic to our wellness.

I love the Miranda Lambert song, Mama’s Broken Heart. It’s about a breakup, not death, but that’s grief of its own kind.

And, the satirical nature of the song, “gotta keep it together, even when you fall apart,” so aptly illustrates the foolishness of trying to suppress our grief, pain, and trauma.

I’m listening to it now as I write because it’s making me smile despite my tears.

And, because my Mama was a lady through and through, and all of the advice in Miranda’s song is EXACTLY what Mama would have said.

But, our Mama went to her grave carrying all her pain–and she had a great deal.

And, my sister was already carrying a tremendous pain burden when Mama died. That’s her story and I won’t tell it here, except to say I didn’t only advocate for doing the grieving process the way we did for my own sake: I did it for hers, too.

Her previous loss was sudden and tragic, and she didn’t get the option of doing some of these things to assist with her grief process. So, grieving Mama in a healing way began to heal many things…for both of us.

My advice?

Give yourself permission to grieve–anything and everything you need to–and let the healing begin.

It’s way past time for a cultural change: we need to grieve, we need to heal, and we need to express our emotions in a healthy way. Part of my passion and mission is advocating for deep, abiding healing for women and a redefinition of the cultural paradigm of female community support.

Getting it out into the world started when I finally let myself grieve all of my losses.

For now, what do you think about how we grieve in our culture and what needs to change? I’d love to hear your thought in the comment section below.

Love & Blessings,

Katt

P.S. One  of the ways I teach energy healing and manifesting skills is through my free Radiant Resilience Community – click below to join us and get The Secret to Emotional Resilience 4-part audio mini-course free

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Are You Afraid to Change?

I have been.

And I thought I was over that hurdle. I thought I’d dealt with that fear a couple of years ago when my whole life dropped out from under me unexpectedly and I had no choice but to change.

I got stuck for a bit back then while I dealt with grief and fear and pain and betrayal and hurt, naturally enough.

Then I surged ahead: I started making powerful choices about what I wanted my new life to be like and I started implementing the changes.

I did great for a while. I relocated to a place where I felt much safer. I got back to excellent self-care habits by returning to nutrition, yoga, walking, sleep habits, stress reduction. I reconnected with people that matter to me.

I excavated my long-held dream of writing, brushed the dust off and began deciding what I wanted to do with it. I got lots of validation and encouragement from family and friends all the way to the point of quitting my 20-year career in medical transcription last September.

It was great at first. I was flying along on the wow-I-really did-it! energy.

There’s a lot to learn so I gave myself permission to take the time to learn it and set some mental deadlines about when to stop learning and start doing.

Then each piece of learning led to more questions, more research, more to absorb.

And I started to doubt myself…intensely.

Is it because you doubt yourself?

The funny part is I know who I am, I understand my purpose in the world, and I’ve been through the fire so I know my capabilities.

Didn’t seem to matter, though.

Every time I got close to completing a project and putting it out into the world, I pulled it back because I believed it wasn’t right, wasn’t good enough, wasn’t gonna work…

and because I believed I wasn’t worthy of achieving success and I didn’t deserve to put my voice out into the world to help other women because I was still trying to fix myself.

And because although I had made a lot of changes, I had essentially created a safe place to hide from the Big Bad World that had traumatized me and I’d have to come out of hiding to launch a business.

The whole time I was doing the back-and-forth dance of fear serendipitous things were happening in both my personal life and my business life that validated I was doing the right thing.

But I largely ignored that part.

Why?

Old programming.

Gasp!

Intellectually that’s not exactly news to me, and it’s probably not to you either.

We all know we have baggage, and for most of us it’s pretty heavy baggage.

We all know we have default behaviors and most of the time we think we’ve dealt with them, but our minds and bodies reveal the truth: chronic pain, depression and anxiety, perpetual grief, fear and doubt all point to healing work we still need to do.

Think you’ve done the work already?

I first saw a therapist in 1997, at age 33, so it’s not like I haven’t been doing the work.

And I’m still doing it. I believe it’s an ongoing journey, but it doesn’t have to be miserable. We can enjoy where we are while we work on where we are going. But we’ve got to get past the fear to do that because for as long as we hold on to the fear we hold onto the pain and trauma.

I just turned 51 a few days ago. I’ve often said I spent my teens rebelling, my 20s repressing, my 30s imploding, and my 40s healing.

I know that means my 50s (and beyond) are for sharing.

And yet here I am 10 months out from quitting my job to do this thing I’ve dreamed of doing for a dozen years, that’s been encouraged and validated, and I’m still stuck in I-don’t-think-I-can-do-this mode.

WTF?

I know it’s put up or shut up time — I’ve known that for a few weeks now — and I’ve been pushing myself daily to just do this thing, just push through the fear and get it done. I made a few commitments to myself:

  • I declared a moratorium on learning anything new for 60 days
  • I joined a women’s mastermind group and actively participate
  • I cut out the chaff of a thousand details in my business planning and identified bare bones
  • I set a deadline of September 12, 2015 (one year from the day I quit my job) to have it all out on the table, publishing, teaching, connecting, growing, along with finite deadlines for various parts.

At this point, it’s go big or go home for me.

Going home means going back to medical transcription — something I’m loathe to do.

And which I’d consider a cop-out.

Some days I feel 10 feet tall and bullet-proof…

and other days you could knock me over with a feather because I’m so scared and uncertain, so deep into can’t-thinking.

What’s your excuse?

I live with chronic pain so that provides a ready excuse if I let it.

On the other hand, that’s the whole point of what I want to bring to women: No matter your circumstances — your pain, your depression, your anxiety, your grief, your trauma, your overwhelm, your stress, your relationships, your job, your home, your family, your finances — and no matter what change life has thrown at you or what change you dream of making — you CAN build a bold new life, you CAN start over, you CAN do it differently.

So I’ve got to get off my ass and do it.

No more excuses.

No more waiting.

No more can’t-thinking.

No more it’s not perfect.

No more what if I’m not qualified.

No more what if it’s not valuable enough.

No more I need to learn something else first.

Ready or not, here goes!

You’d think with 10 months behind me I’d be ready.

I’m not.

And I’m going to do it anyway because I believe empowered personal healing leads to shared collective wellness for women, and sharing our imperfect journey is what will break the inertia surrounding women’s healing.

We are so deeply confused by all the facades: films and TV, books, magazines, advertising, the faces others present to the world.

Most of which is an illusion and we absorb it as an ideal to chase after. And we’re wearing ourselves out, making ourselves sick, beating ourselves up in an endless pursuit of imaginary perfection. We’re living with chronic pain, depression, anxiety, grief and trauma as a result.

It’s high time we all stop killing ourselves (and yes, I mean literally) with trying to live up to a false cultural standard…

and start working together to help each other heal, changing the paradigm of authentic women’s wellness.

This world is traumatizing enough — we don’t need to compound the trauma with ceaseless competition with each other and with false images of perfection.

So there’s a women’s wellness revolution being born today.

And it’s going to be messy for a while.

Certainly imperfect.

Definitely a starting point.

Why do it this way?

Because it occurs to me that creating something new in the world is a birthing process, and it so happens that at the beginning of July when I made the commitment to myself to get this done and have it fully operational by mid-September it was just about 40 weeks after I walked away from my job.

How weird is that? 😉

And it also occurs to me that once upon a time women supported each other through the birthing process and in the early months after (and I believe wholeheartedly in encouraging a return to female tribe as part of my business definition).

And it also occurs to me that though this happens to be the particular change that’s part of my own healing journey, the experience illustrates the process of overcoming the fear of change for every woman.

As such, sharing it step-by-step it all of it’s raw and real form does exactly what I’m trying to do:

Heal wounded women’s souls…

and provide them with a blueprint to own their wellness, live their passions, and love their lives again.

Are you afraid to change?

I am…and I’m going to do it anyway.

I’m going to do it for me, and I’m going to do it for you. I’ll blaze a trail for you to follow. What have I really got to lose? I’ve been kicked down before, and I’m not afraid of speaking up, and it doesn’t bother me to be transparent and share my faults, and I’ve screwed up plenty so why not just get on with it?

More importantly, what have you got to lose?

Nothing…except your fear.. and with it, your pain, your depression, your grief, your anxiety, your stress, your overwhelm.

And you just might gain everything you’ve ever dreamed of.

[EDITORIAL NOTE: I first published this post on July 27, 2015, and I decided to re-feature it today, July 27, 2016. In the year since it was first published, I’ve expanded exponentially, publishing an eBook, co-authored Unleash Your Inner Magnificence, grown a large network of women who help others heal, and launched a podcast, among other things. Stepping through your fear and doing what you know you’re here to do anyway accelerates your own healing in ways you’d never expect – and brings peace and joy when you’re aligned with your genuine Self and purpose.]

What change do you dream of making that has you stuck in fear? Let me know in the comments below.

Love & Blessings,

Katt

P.S. One  of the ways I teach energy healing and manifesting skills is through my free Radiant Resilience Community – click below to join us and get The Secret to Emotional Resilience 4-part audio mini-course free