When you’ve been suffering for a while and your list of physical, mental, and emotional symptoms has grown long, it can seem overwhelming to think about all the things you’ll need to do to get beyond it…and yet, you want nothing more than to feel well again, to be happy again, to get back to being yourself again.
I’m not going to tell you that all you need to do is think positive, or that there is one simple thing you can do that will fix everything, or that there is a certain prescription that will make it all better, or that it’s all in your head and you just need to stop it.
It takes a long time to get so unwell that you chronically suffer from your pain, depression, anxiety, fatigue, and other symptoms: It stands to reason that it’ll take you some time to find your way back.
And I also know you just want to feel better now.
There was a point in my life when I dragged myself through every day: I had children to raise and a job to do, so it wasn’t optional. And in those days, I withdrew to my bed as often and as quickly as I could. I sought the comfort of prescribed painkillers and anxiety medications, and the blessed relief of sleep. When I was asleep, I didn’t have to deal with the pain, the depression, the anxiety, or the reasons for all of it.
I wasn’t living life: I was existing
I suffered, my family suffered, and on top of everything else, I felt so guilty. I wanted to get a handle on it…and every time I worked up the energy to think about what that meant, it was too exhausting and overwhelming to figure out. It was easier to just take a nap.
I was in my early 30s when I first sought medical/mental health assistance for things I had already lived with for many years. I followed that path for close to 6 years, having test after test, trying medication after medication, talking with different therapists, and pursuing treatment after treatment. Nothing really worked all that well. Sure, there were small gains sometimes, but they usually came with a price…or a side effect.
The therapist I was seeing when I was 39 was the portal to real and lasting change for me. She taught me to see myself differently, and that empowered me to start researching ways to own my healing and wellness that suited me and my lifestyle.
I gained tremendous ground over the next 5 years and I was the healthiest I’d been in decades, walking 4 to 5 miles a day, eating nutritiously and I was at a healthy body weight, doing yoga daily, working with horses 5 days a week, homeschooling my youngest child, and working on my writing.
When I was 44, I made a decision that changed all that: I entered into a toxic relationship, and over the next 4 years I lost myself and my health. The summer I turned 49 I was desperately ill, in chronic pain, depressed, anxious, and grieving.
Shortly after my birthday, my eldest daughter confronted me with the truth: She told me if I passively allowed the whole situation to continue I was going to die. She reminded me I knew what to do and I had to decide to do it if I wanted to live.
She was right.
I was so tired of all the battles that I was being passive. I didn’t think I had the strength or energy to pull myself up one more time. I was going to let things run their course and let myself fade away.
Once she had called me out on it, though, I found it harder and harder to stay passive. I did know exactly what I needed to do…but it was overwhelming as hell to think about doing it all. It required radical decisions, hard work, physical effort, mental schooling, and money…all of which were in short supply right then.
I turned inward for a couple of weeks–not in the escaping reality way; rather, in the searching my soul way. And it was enough to get me moving and making some choices.
There were ups and downs, a lot of decisions to face, physical and emotional things to confront and solve, and grief to process, but about 4 months into the work, when the fog had cleared a bit, I finally realized all of what I’ve been through and overcome has aligned me with my purpose in life: to be a voice in the world to help eliminate violence against women and to help create a new paradigm for women’s wellness.
I said earlier I know you want to feel better now, and this story is about the time it takes to heal. Within it, though, is the key to feeling better now, before you begin to make the practical decisions and choices, and before you can create the wellness blueprint for your life.
It’s this: Changing your perception of your ability to heal, going from an I can’t to an I can attitude, and taking daily action to learn a personal wellness mindset.
It won’t solve everything all at once, but it will get you more than 50% of the way to wellness. As it’s said when someone is battling a substance abuse problem: ‘acknowledging they have a problem is half the battle.’ There’s work to do afterwards but it’s work from a place of truth and believing in the possibility of achieving wellness.
Same goes: When you believe you have the ability to heal and own your power – your personal wellness mindset – you’ve already won half the battle.
It’s the gateway to becoming an Indomitable Woman.
Who is an Indomitable Woman?
She’s the woman who has navigated the trials and traumas and stresses of life and keeps on going.
She’s the woman who has been knocked down and gotten back up…sometimes repeatedly.
She’s the woman who has been betrayed and dares to love anyway.
She’s the woman who puts it all on the line for her family.
She’s the woman who takes a step even when she’s terrified.
She’s the woman who looks for the lesson – the proverbial silver lining – in difficult circumstances.
She’s the woman who wields her strength with love and grace and compassion while standing firm in
She’s the woman who practices great self-care habits to keep herself healthy and well – without
She’s the woman who knows her natural talents, capabilities and resources and uses them skillfully.
She’s the woman who supports and uplifts other women.
She’s the woman who is tapped into her intuition and flows with the cycles and seasons of life.
She’s the woman who hears the healing call and courageously steps into her healing power to answer.
So is it really possible to become indomitable?
I say it is. And I’ve met hundreds of women who exemplify being indomitable:
They’ve battled cancer and won.
They’ve left abusive relationships and thrived.
They’ve grieved loss and begun to live again.
They’ve fought social stigma and claimed their freedom.
They’ve struggled with body image and learned to love themselves.
They’ve been betrayed and gone on to love again.
They’ve contended with eating disorders and gotten healthy.
They’ve experienced every conceivable trauma that happens to women…and they’ve stepped into their healing power, healed themselves, and begun to help others heal.
I think it’s a natural outcome: don’t you? When we go through the fire, and we find our way out and create a new life for ourselves, we naturally want to pay that forward and help others.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about becoming indomitable – facing adversity, healing, thriving, and helping others heal. Let me know in the comments below!
Love & Blessings,
P.S. One of the ways I teach energy healing and manifesting skills is through my free Radiant Resilience Community – click below to join us and get The Secret to Emotional Resilience 4-part audio mini-course free